Sunday, February 26, 2012

Gender-confused dog likes women's underwear

This post's header seems like something you'd read on the cover of the National Enquirer or Star while going through the checkout line.

Sadly, this truth is stranger than fiction. My male dog Oscar likes women's underwear - and my teen and 'tween daughters' "fine washables" as well.

Not to wear, though. That would be a bit weird - and also would require a level of dexterity I don't think he possesses.

No, my 10-pound Jack Chi (Jack Russell-chihuahua mix, aka "mutt") likes to chew them. Not completely; only a certain part of them.

It doesn't matter if they're clean or dirty - Oscar is intent on making every pair of panties in my household "crotchless."

It is a phenomenon I cannot explain and one that would be quite funny if:
  • It didn't draw the ire of the females in my house and threaten a "commando" movement out of necessity; or
  • Create a new line item in our family's budget. 
At the moment, the panties line is now number five for the month - behind mortgage, utilities, food and gas.

After folding a mountain of laundry a few minutes ago and discarding a half dozen compromised garments, I'm afraid it may climb higher.

Fortunately, my briefs and Jack's seem to be immune from Oscar's reign of terror.

That's good for us, but it does make me curious about Oscar's gender-identity issues.

Oscar is now curled up on the sofa, asleep - exhausted from his morning snacking.

My wife and daughters, meanwhile, will be home soon and I'll have to break the news about their newly dwindled supply of undergarments.

On a positive note, there's still money in the bank from the last payday, which will allow for an afternoon shopping trip.

They'll have to take advantage of the situation today, though. The mortgage is due in two weeks.

4 comments:

  1. Too funny - pets with issues - imagine!!

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  2. This is funny Uncle J! I saw the going ons with my own two eyes. That mutt sure is a panty thief!

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  3. My kind'a doggie!

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