Thursday, March 10, 2011

Say it Ain't So, Cap'n!

Missy was at stage two of the five stages of grief when she called to share the news: Cap'n Crunch is going away.

Fired up, she vowed to launch the Crunch Revolution starting today.

I may join her once I fully process the fact that the good Cap'n - conqueror of the Soggies, defender of all that's bad in the foods from my youth - may soon be absent from supermarket cereal shelves.

Granted, Ryan MacClanathan's article on is a bit misleading given it's incendiary headline - "Cap'n Crunch Sails into Obscurity." The gist of the story is that the breakfast food known for temporarily destroying the roof of one's mouth is not going away completely - at least not yet.

Quaker, rather, is no longer "actively marketing" the product to children - meaning the good Cap'n, with his goofy voice and quirky hat, will soon stop sailing the sugary seas to the land of childhood obesity.

But we all know the reality, don't we? If a product with already falling sales isn't supported by advertising dollars in commercials placed among children's cartoon programming, it's end is imminent.

Does anyone remember Quisp, another notorious sugar-laden cereal from the 1970s that was marketed by a cartoon space alien? Probably not...and I rest my case.

Intellectually, I get the need to improve the nutritional content of many items lining our grocery shelves. The epidemic of obesity in the United States that is threatening lives and contributing to skyrocketing health care and health insurance costs needs to be addressed as a national problem.

Still, I am sad to see an icon from my childhood fading away, not to mention the deliciously sweet, rock-hard yellow nuggets of goodness that added the phrase "Crunch Cut" to our lexicon.

Goodbye Cap'n, my Cap'n. It was a pleasure sailing with you.

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